Let’s see, hmm, the last post here was… oh wow, it was 6 days ago.
Last time the gap was like 3 days. And before that 2. I think some mafs is mafemathisizing there. Idk. Anyways, ignore my rambling.
So, what have I been up to?
iGCSE results!
We got our iGCSE results back on the 13th! I woke up earlier than usual specifically for the hype. Uh, I can’t say it ruined my day. It didn’t. It wasn’t bad. It just so happened that some grades were lower than they were in my mocks, though some were higher.
I was especially worried about Computer Science — I was bad at theory. Never put in any effort learning that. Then I realised that if I really really wanted to pursue a career in tech, I needed to up my game. But doing that right during the exam season wasn’t really effective. Thank goodness though, I got an A*! Perhaps my cramming did it? Or I did so well in the 15-marker coding question that it upped my grade (people often just skip that)? Whatever it is, the grade validates my A-level choices.
Portfolio website
I’m still working on my new portfolio website. A few days ago, I finally finished my 6-day todo list. Yipee! However, as with any project, you just keep going and going because there are simply so many things you want to do with it. Add new features! Fix the code! Make it pretty! Clean up the spaghetti!
Who knew pure CSS could make such wonderful, tangled-up and messy spaghetti?
What else has happened since…?
Nothing much, really?
I suppose I started singing a bit more in my bedroom while I fixed my website. I managed to reach an F#5 a few days ago! I was able to practice the F5 with Chappell Roan’s ‘Good Luck, Babe!’. I can see why everybody’s obsessed with her album nowadays — I’ll admit, I may be one of them!
Oh and also, we might be flying next week. A sudden week-long vacation to the Philippines just before school starts! Yay.
My dreams have been weird lately
I had a dream, maybe 2-3 days ago, where I was somehow some Main Character and I was facing off some woman with a gun. After attempting karate (and ultimately failing. My basics were fine, but they were too good waaa) and dodging bullets (more like dodging the gun itself, for some reason), dream-me just surrendered and gestured that she just shoot her in the chest. Y’know, to avoid pain. And so she did.
Dying in the dream… that felt weird. I knew there was some sort of dull pain, like wanting to faint. A similar sensation to a really bad fever in the night, when you feel your consciousness randomly going in and out of focus, with a dull throb at the chest. Something like that. Not knowing whether to turn or just lay still in a weird position. Go in the fetal position laying sideways like I would in my bed? Lay on the grass and bleed out? I dunno???
And then I died. Apparently. Then after that I somehow was alive. Not really alive, more like living an afterlife. I was in some hospital room. Then suddenly my entire life was just Fedi. YES. FEDI. In my dream, it was just a screen. Not like a physical screen; all I could see were the contents of the screen. Same as how you never see the edge of your vision. It just ain’t there. And it looked kind of like Misskey… but also a light-blue-ish dark theme. Some pink. Some white outlines. Something, something. Yeah. And I found that I can still interact with it. Post stuff. Almost as if I was alive.
Then at some point, I was actually alive again. Perhaps I woke up (within the dream, of course). Perhaps I was given a new life. Anyways, I remember having this huge appreciation for life and death at that point (within the dream).
…
I remember having another weird dream the night before last. I forgot what it was though.
But the main thing is: my dreams feel… important lately. Significant. They’ve all been feeling more like adventures lately, where I somehow play a big role and I’m just plain old me — but stronger, somehow? More courageous. I suppose that’s what happens when you have life-and-death experiences and you just go into your raw instincts.